there are some amazing people out there.
last night i met this man who got bitten by a dog. a big scary german shepherd, mind you. (side note: i didn't know german shepherds were threatening? ed, is your doggie just really friendly?) he had this huge gash on his leg, but all he could complain about was how he just wanted to make friends and the dog didn't even give him a chance. good lord, to have that kind of positive mentality.
marisa told me about this one family she met...single moms, you are awesome. makes me think some more about adoption.
the rape crisis center that i volunteer at is in need of a spanish translator. i am reluctant because i know for once it will count. how do you console in spanish? should i pray for courage and strength? words to say? or should i just quit being such a wuss? <gracie!>
i feel a strange sense of complacency. it seems like everyone around me is experiencing dramatic changes in their lives. and even though i'm really excited for my friends, i kinda feel left behind. i know it's not entirely true that EVERYone has something going on for them, but sometimes i wonder what is in store for me. mememe. i remember struggling with this in college. and i remember reading that in terms of god's will, it is important to focus on just that. pray for god's will. not god's will for me.
but how about god's will for the iraqi people? god's will for the north koreans? god's will for the other countries rich in natural resources that the us schemes to "liberate"? how about people that need "liberating" but do not benefit from the wealth of natural resources? should we pray for god's will for them? or should we stick with god's will and the furthering his kingdom?
so this boils down to faith. trusting that god's will is perfect, that he is in control. some say that as christians we should go farther and trust in the leadership of this country. god places authority figures in our lives for our benefit, obey them, blahblahblah. but i feel like that would be a resignation. a throwing in of the towel before a drop of sweat has fallen. ...i just don't know, and it sends my head spinning in circles.
i can't even bring myself to admit that the war has started. i'm still angry that this country has gone this far, without any regard to anyone but it's own profit, might, revenge. to talk about praying for a quick war...perhaps i'm too cynical for that. a quick war will only lead to a victory for the us, which will only boost their confidence that this was a just war, which will only lead to more such "just" wars in the future, bigger, badder, and far more dangerous.
at the same time, it's not like i want this war to go on longer just for the sake of proving the us wrong. i know that we should support our troops. and i do pray for them to be safe. but at the same time...how can this country send them out there at their peril and then pray for a quick resolution? i just can't match the two. i am at a loss. <gracie!>
<12:27 AM> don and i bought sonicare toothbrushes. will someone please help me out? i dunno if i'm doing it right. cuz it tickles like crazy and i end up drooling all over the place. not a pretty sight. i felt the urgency to brush my teeth with the door closed when i stayed at marisa's this weekend. how embarrassing is that? don suggested i brush a little before i turn the thing on so that at least there will be toothpaste spread evenly. but other than that...maybe it just takes getting used to. i hope this is worth it in the long run. i fear i have cavities already. it may be too late. <gracie!>
what is the point?
today i went with my family to have yumcha/dimsum. it is not my favorite thing, mind you. entirely TOO MUCH SHRIMP. i keep thinking of all the cholesterol. and don's cousin's name for shrimp: cockroach of the sea. and i have had entirely too much experience with cockroaches. big ones that fly and still survive even though you smash them and pour a bottle of insect repellant on them. pasting up holes in our apartment kitchen only to have them run over to the next unit.
anyway, besides the shrimp thing, i go because it's family time. i go because i love my family and i am (initially) eager to hear what my parents have to say. but today my dad insists on bringing his walkman. he is listening to it throughout lunch. from the house to the car to the waiting area to the table and all the way back to the house. and he thinks he is sly by putting the wires under his sweater. as if everyone does not know he's wired. at least it kept him from correcting everyone with his vast wealth of knowledge. but really, what is the point? <gracie!>
i'm feeling pretty depressed about bush's 48hr ultimatum. and i'm not even that well-informed.
some thoughts from today:
1. i had to remind myself, "don't be feulish" in a rush to get home late from work tonight
2. should i try to fast during this ultimatum? <gracie!>
is this a sign? this will be the third time writing this post. i hope it goes through this time. if not, then perhaps i am fireballing too much and i should write this another day. here goes...
i went to the sf peace rally yesterday. despite national forcasting for a storm, we had beautiful weather--not a drop from the sky! i had almost dissuaded myself from going, too. no way did i wanna be all revolutionary while drenched with rain, catching a cold, ensuring a miserable coming week at work. but i am glad that i decided not to be such a fatty wuss. god poured his blessings, not rain.
the speakers were really good, too! you had to have been there to see the "raging grannies" perform their peace/anti-war renditions of old songs. it was pimp funny. i was laffing so hard i stopped listening to the lyrics towards the end. hmm, perhaps not too effective. a 13-yr.old also read a short poem too. sweet, no? but this aint no ordinary teen--she organized a peace march for her jr.high! man, if grannies and girls can do it, so can i!
i bet some of you wondering, where is all this coming from?! i never pictured grace to be a peacerallier, or even a politicallyopinionated person, or (gasp!--dare i say it?) an activist. and i don't consider myself to be any of these things. i don't even consider myself to be well informed. for the most part, i don't read the newspaper because i am lazy, but frankly, because i don't believe what it says. i won't preach here because that's not my thing, but i will say this: people are going to die. and i can't sit idly while our president sends troops (our brothers and sisters) overseas under the guise of protecting this nation, and threatens (our brothers and sisters) with motherofallbombs under the pretense of bringing down an evil regime. god calls us to be peacemakers. peace has to be made. it won't be made by pacifists.
a self-claimed, badgeless reporter from the sjmercury asked us if we thought we were making a difference. in all honesty?, i'd have to say no. i don't think our president will change his plans for destruction just because millions of people worldwide for the first time in history demonstrate for peace. but i feel like i have to make this stand, at least to be a number to demonstrate No Blood For Oil.
don't worry, i don't plan on being a civildisobedient. but i am trying to conserve gas. cmon, you wanna do it too--it's hurting your pockets everytime you fill up, right? i know it's hard, believe me. driving 65 is painful when i'm used to 80. but it's a small contribution.
okay, i'll stepdown now. please send any comments if you dis/agree.
on a lighter note, some new posters:
axles of evil (with a pic of an suv)
separation of church (crossed out and replaced with) corporation & state?
don't kill arab hotties (this roused chuckles from everyone)
and for you, emi: (in duct tape) peace fries <gracie!>
<11:58 PM> these come in spurts, no? i just came back from a walk. did you hear about a study done on women's psychological state of happiness? they found that women feel 50% better after walking at a brisk pace for 5 minutes, 100% after 10 minutes. that's all it takes! 10 minutes to clear your head. smell the roses. <gracie!>
<11:56 PM> my dad is a genius. a notmartha. he told me to open a credit card with a small credit line just for online purchases. then if someone steals your info and starts buying like crazy, s/he won't be able to cuz the limit is so small and you'll be able to catch it quite easily because you only make online purchases. word from the wise. **due to inappropriate content, i have edited this blog. hopefully i will gain more wisdom (maybe from my dad) in being more discreet. but i cannot be sure. i will try my hardest not to do so, though. that's all.** <gracie!>
this weekend, jennifer came to visit! it was really cool to spend time with her--whenever i see her in lala, she's already running all around, never enuf time to catch up.
we did a lot of kickback things, including trying to watch "the ring". i REALLYREALLY wanna watch it. yes, i am a glutton for punishment because we all know that i cannot watch scary movies. invariably, i always end up watching through my fingers, if that...most of the time, my eyes are shut very tightly. (evidence, you ask?: my family went to see "thin red line" without me, and my roommies went to see "poltergeist" without me, all declaring that i was grounded.) anyway, does anyone wanna watch it? i'm gonna try to rent it again this weekend (it was rented-out at 3 blockbusters opening rental weekend!) instead, we watched "brotherhood of the wolf". pretty good choice; thanks jon!
we also ate at barney's gourmet hamburgers. hungabahs hungabahs! you may scoff at the idea of a "gourmet" hungabah, but quite honestly it is reallyreallyreally good. add excellent milkshakes (bavarian mocha, hands down) and battered mushrooms and zucchini in the mix, and you got yourself a very pleasureable dining experience. i usually can't finish all of my hungabah...i try to finish at least half. but i finally found the secret to finishing that hunka hungabah. take a "break" to go to the bathroom halfway to empty. it is quite pleasurable. <gracie!>
i finally talked to my parents about the not being able to come home for dinner. i SO tried to get to work superearly, leave superearly, eat dinner with my parents, be the good daughter and all that. but it's just not possible. takes years off my life.
i feel bad for leaving the office at five even though i get there at nine
i feel bad not carpooling with marisa and saving gas
i run into stupidtraffic and angry rich beemer-drivers (i swear i will never be a beemer owner for this reason alone)
and i am still late for dinner
it's a nowin situation. but thank god that's cleared up. my mom was pretty understanding! she is definitely "hip" (imagine my mom wiggling her hips has she does this--my mom the hula dancer!).
an update: my dad gets really excited about having dinner with me. so excited he just can't hide it and actually cooks! cute, no? we had a "poor man's meal"--corned beef and cabbage and taters. and of course, the asian staple: oranges for dessert. yum. all were on sale at pw. superyum. that, and i like anything that give me an excuse to eat mustard (three different kinds, mind you), pepper (freshly ground, of course), and sesame seeds (a hui household staple)!
check out my new favorite mustard: maille dijon original, traditional dijon mustard (although grey poupon is always a good choice too). <gracie!>
<11:58 PM> I DID IT DO YOU THINK I'VE GONE TO FAR? I DID IT GUILTY AS CHARGED <gracie!>
it's a dooging extravaganza!
gotta give props to the naked chef. i saw his new show a few weeks ago, "oliver's twist". had to watch it with the captions on, but he is still lovely jubbly. <gracie!>
i have some words for all those cute little girls standing in front of local grocery stores, invading every cubicle, and coming to knock on my door, STAY AWAY FROM MY MOM. we have your entire stock here at my house. please. no more. i can't resist any longer. feeling weak...
and if you do happen to come by again, can you bring those coconut ones? <gracie!>
today i read some sad sad sad news. heartwrenching. gut tearing and all over the floor in a big mess. heartattack inducing. do you think i should sue for psychological damage?
the cover of ew said in 2.5 inch letters: BUFFY QUITS
and i'm not even a freak like some people i know... <gracie!>
<10:17 PM> i am deeply offended. when i took the "what kind of asian are you?" quiz i got, "I don't know what the hell you are. Go away. Freak." grr. talk about false advertising. don't be shaqin now... <gracie!>
sorry nothing on nyny yet! waaaay behind over here. especially lacking in sleep. but i'll get something up, fo' shizzle
warning: this is a dirty post, in all sense of the word...
(a tribute to some, and just plain disgusting to others)
another good thing about living at home: my mom cleaned out all the ear wax from my ears tonight. i can hear again! i feel suddenly renewed. what am i gonna do without her? i can't very well pick my own ear wax out--what if i poke out my ear drums and completely lose all sense of hearing? not that i'm not far from there...
for daring readers: my mom asked, what happened here? did you dunk this ear in some gook? ...i'll leave the rest to your imagination. ;) <gracie!>