i left work wanting to cry today. some of you may know that one of my coworkers doesn't like me. i can't figure it out. not really sure i wanna know anymore. pretty sure i wanna leave, though. so there's this part of me that's all sad and discouraged cuz i can't figure it out for the life of me. and then there's this other part that's like, what the? what is WRONG with her? am i gonna let her push me out like that? dunno what's right to do. please pray for direction.
it's definitely not the best way to start a 3day weekend, lemme tell you. but i came home and i got pity massages from my mom and sister. dad gave me a peptalk about how i shouldn't let her win and make me all upset. good advice, but not sure i can handle it. i tried really hard today. didn't work out so well. but you know what works? friends. i'm talking about hearing friendly voices. thanks guys! well, and i hafta admit, the tv show. those kids are crazy. i love it. also, here are some blog entries that made me crack up this week: markymark's and jenwil's. hungabilarious. thanks guys, i love laffing.
last week i began to realize that aunty flora might not get better from cancer. even though i was in lala lastflinging with marisa, i couldn't help but worry about her passing. mia introduced me to a bebo norman song, and i cried like a baby. lucky thing i was in the back seat. wednesday morning, aunty flora passed away.
when i allow myself to truly think about it, i get all teary and mopey. it doesn't really encourage my attitude towards work. in a strange way, though, i feel like my faith in god has been stregthened by her passing. i have no idea why--i can't even begin to postulate why god's timing has to be now, or how this is part of his plan.
after watching buffy, i had a series of dreams of friends' passings. it was kind of weird. some of my dreams come true sooner or later. i feel like these dreams won't. but it was still kind of freaky to know that after i woke up, aunty flora was leaving us for jesus.
i'm looking forward to the west coast memorial service this sunday. <gracie!>
<9:22 PM> buffy ends today. i have been holding my breath for at least a month now. i can't believe it's over. i even remember watching my sister watch it when it first came to the wb, when it made the wb. i thought, what a stupid name. i didn't even know it was previously a movie flop. who knew joss whedon would become idolized as he is now? even when my roommates were mad crazy about it i did not fall. but now i find myself without any desire to watch tv after tonight. here's an article that marisa found in oc weekly (orange county). no worries, there aren't any spoilers. just a eulogy. <gracie!>
<11:45 PM> if you read this quiz, you will know everything there is to know about cupertino, the town i grew up in. and that is, there is nothing to know. even still, i only got 80% on the "How Cupertino are you?" Quizie! What about you? blame helen if you think it's dumb. <gracie!>
today i have been dragged to my knees.
while traveling to a visit, i bite the curb BIG TIME and my tire explodes. stupidass "performance" tires.
BY GOD'S GRACE,
1. we were close to stanford, so my supervisor could pick up my coworker and go to the appointment i was supposed to go to
2. my SUPERvisor gave me the rest of the day off
3. i was able to drive to a nearby parking lot under my stanford-alum coworker's direction because i am clearly not thinking by this time
4. my dad is willing to give up his strict workout regimen to help me out
5. the owners of the car i happen to park next to arrive and are very concerned with my predicament
6. though my insurance agent is of no help whatsoever, the husband/father of the car i happened to park next to CHANGES MY TIRE while i helplessly look on
7. my dad helps me drive to the vw dealership (no help at all), and the goodyear dealership
8. i get a new tire and road damage insurance for $150 by 6:00p
9. overall, i had a wonderful and productive day. now i know how to change my tire, even if i had to learn it the hard way. and i get to eat at home with my parents before they leave.
10. i feel terrible! about what i did to honayhonay. but now my big fat baby is okay.
also, aunty flora is in big trouble. i don't have any more words. please pray. <gracie!>
<8:37 PM> comcast bought out at&t broadband. why is this of consequence? we were smuggling cable tv from our cable modem. comcast did some housecleaning and now we're only left with hgtv. home. garden. tv. it's really rather pitiful. kind of interesting, but it only leaves you depressed after seeing what some rich kids' rooms are like. <gracie!>
got some pretty amazing quotes from monique this week:
if god brings you to it, he will bring you through it.
(is this indicative of my return to my parents' house?)
if you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.
(is this why i'm so gullible?) <gracie!>
<12:06 AM> sorry for the delay, guys! i feel really bad about the lack of updates. i hope you find the following my way of making it up to you. <gracie!>
<11:21 PM> i am taking a poll. i need a new facial cleansing regimen. tell me what you got on your bathroom sink! i wanna try it. <gracie!>